My fear is that she will never trust me again

How am I supposed to hand my heart over to a team of surgeons? Just set her down and wave bye-bye? Is it even possible for a mother to hand her child over – or do they have to literally peel the child from her arms?

She’s not getting her tonsils out. She’s not having a mole removed, or a pin put in her finger, or her appendix out…

They are reconstructing her skull.

Forgive me for being so blunt, but there is no other way to see it. It has taken me until just now, in this very moment, to actually think about the gravity of what is to occur. And I am ill.

One day soon she will be smiling and cooing, take a nap, and wake up in pain, afraid, swollen, groggy, strapped down, and reconstructed. And the last thing she will have remembered was her mommy kissing her and sending her off with strangers.

Some days it’s just too much to take.

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One thought on “My fear is that she will never trust me again

  1. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, I want to let you know I have had a son go through MINOR surgery (he was 3 years old) and they give him loops meds before they take him away the only thing he remembered was after surgery eating his ice cream he had no memory of the pain he was in afterwords. I just thought that info might be a little comforting!

    Like

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