Full circle, they say. One whole year. Nothing about the past year has been soft-sided, whole, or symmetrical – but full? Oh, yes.
Exactly one year ago I was laboring in a gorgeous birth tub, surrounded by people I love. We were all tucked away, safe, in a second-story corner bedroom. I visited that very bedroom today. I sat on the bed. I nursed Poppy in the chair. I stared out the windows. It was not the first time I had revisited the site of her birth – but it was the first time that I entered the room without a darkness washing over me. There was, instead, a feeling of victory.
We made it out of there. Poppy, Kieran, my mother… We have all pulled ourselves ( if only an arm here, a leg there ) out from under the heavy curtain we donned, unexpectedly, just one year ago. We are thriving! Breathing.
It is hard to encompass the array of emotions that accompanied Poppy’s frightening arrival – and perhaps better left alone at this juncture. I am, however, in absolute awe that all of Poppy’s life can fit neatly in one itty, bitty year. It seems as though she has been strapped to my chest all my life. I was born mother to these two. I believe that I have known them forever.
I am so pleased to be able to celebrate Poppy’s birthday with friends and family this weekend. Just last week Poppy was once again hospitalized. I wasn’t certain if she would be well enough to go out. She has healed with amazing speed.
It is so difficult to spend days at a time in the hospital when I have Kieran to think of, too. I know he understands that I have to stay with Poppy, but it pains my heart even deeper to be away from my sweet boy. I am so thankful for my mother and my amazing friend, Traci. I refuse to imagine what it would be like not to have their support.
And so, I celebrate. A year of struggles, pain, fear, uncertainty, and sadness. A year of joy, laughter, strength, victory, and love.
A year that has changed every single thing that exists for my family and I. A year that many times seemed impossible. We made it. She made it.
This girl is made of magic.
In honor of this beautiful girl fighting through the entirety of her first year – I am asking each and every one of you for one small favor.
Share her story. Spread Apert Awareness. Show her how much she is loved. If everyone shared the link to her blog and asked their friends to share it also – imagine how many people would “know” Apert Symdrome. Imagine if one of the 65 mother’s that will give birth to a child with Apert Syndrome this year, knew what it was when they saw it. That would be one less mother preparing to lose their child. One less mother paralyzed by grief at the sight of their newborn baby. One less mother afraid to fall in love with their own child.
Please help me help her. Help me help the world recognize differences and accept them with understanding. Help me locate the resources to raise $60k and get my sweet girl the surgeries she needs.
One down, a lifetime more to go…
To read the first blog post written about Poppy’s birth, click HERE.